So the end of an era has come. deutschtard has finally, finally reached my limits. I guess she had at one point been my best friend. That was about a year ago. She and I were close because of three things: I had nobody else, she was the first person I'd found who was so into roleplaying and so ready to dive into rping adventures with me, and I'd thought she respected me.

I've since realized that she respects no one. Especially not Spike.

More than that, though, is the fact that she's just... not a friend. To anybody. She thinks she is, but she just isn't. She introduced me to Arn, and to make a long story short, Arn made me realize what a friend was really supposed to be. In all the places deutschtard has failed, Arn has succeeded. I've seen what it is to have a friend support and encourage me, and fulfill her promises, and respect me. I don't know if Arn respects me, but I feel respected. And while Arn was making herself one of the most important people in my mind, deutschtard became more and more condescending, more difficult to deal with, and just... More flawed. I won't get into details, because that's a long story. But when it comes down to it... I almost hate her now. She went from being my best friend to being on my list of people to avoid dealing with at all costs, right next to Plague, who came before her.

Tonight was really just the last straw. If I have my way, this is the last argument I'm ever having with her. If I have my way, this is the last time I'm ever talking to her. I'll put up with her when necessary, and I can tolerate Arn and Jai venting about her and ranting about her, because gods know I've done enough of that myself. But as for me and her, just the two of us... I'm done. I want her out of my life.

Tags: deutschtard
Feeling rather: irritated
Listening to: Angels & Agony - Eternal Entity

You didn't expect this, did you? An actual update! It's been nearly a year since I posted here. Simply shocking.

My LJ is undergoing a revamp. I have a new Mood Theme (BBC Robin Hood by heka_granger), a new layout (nothing special, just a default layout), new icons... Oh! And a Plus account. Ain't that special? I've also deleted most of my old posts, with the exception of three. Why is this? Because I felt like it. The three posts are friends only, but most of my other posts won't be.

Life has been really... eventful, I suppose you could say. In October I went to California on vacation with my mom and her fiance. I don't really do well on vacations, simply because I'm too attached to the comfort of my own home and I don't like having to get up and be active all day long. We went to Sea World, which was kinda neat, but we didn't get to see the manatees (I got a manatee plushie to make up for that). We also spent some time in Disneyland and Disney Californa Adventure... To be entirely honest, Disneyland was the LEAST entertaining part of my trip. I'm not a big rides person, and I was there with my good buddy deutschtard, but we had some miscommunications issues that ended up with me very upset and having a miserable time through most of the vacation. California Adventure was alright, as we went on Halloween night and the atmosphere was awesomely fun (although Mom and Brad forced me into the ginormous Ferris Wheel and took pictures of my abject horror).

In November I started at an online high school, and my classes went pretty well for a while. I'm taking German, Honors English, Honors Biology, History, and Basic Math (why? I'm lazy). Now, this winter has been a pretty stressful time, and my schoolwork productivity has dropped majorly. In December my mom had a miscarriage, which, as you might imagine, was a nightmare for our whole family. That whole time was very stressful, and on top of that, Brad's dog got VERY sick, so the house was tense and unhappy. Then there was the stress of the holidays, with numerous family parties and socialization (I HATE having to be social). And then there was New Year's Eve, and shortly after was my birthday, on which day I had a MAJOR falling out with an old friend...

On top of all this, I've been fighting with deutschtard a lot, and since I don't have very many friends I talk to frequently, that's a big problem. So it's really just been one thing after another lately, but here I'm hoping things are gonna start looking up.

To save on space, I've posted the rest of my entry under a cut, since it's not as major as everything else. ;)

( Weeeeee! )

Tags: recs, video games
Feeling rather: lethargic
Listening to: Century Child - Nightwish