I Need Breathing Room

Wed, 16 Apr 2008 07:22:05 GMT

So the end of an era has come. deutschtard has finally, finally reached my limits. I guess she had at one point been my best friend. That was about a year ago. She and I were close because of three things: I had nobody else, she was the first person I'd found who was so into roleplaying and so ready to dive into rping adventures with me, and I'd thought she respected me.

I've since realized that she respects no one. Especially not Spike.

More than that, though, is the fact that she's just... not a friend. To anybody. She thinks she is, but she just isn't. She introduced me to Arn, and to make a long story short, Arn made me realize what a friend was really supposed to be. In all the places deutschtard has failed, Arn has succeeded. I've seen what it is to have a friend support and encourage me, and fulfill her promises, and respect me. I don't know if Arn respects me, but I feel respected. And while Arn was making herself one of the most important people in my mind, deutschtard became more and more condescending, more difficult to deal with, and just... More flawed. I won't get into details, because that's a long story. But when it comes down to it... I almost hate her now. She went from being my best friend to being on my list of people to avoid dealing with at all costs, right next to Plague, who came before her.

Tonight was really just the last straw. If I have my way, this is the last argument I'm ever having with her. If I have my way, this is the last time I'm ever talking to her. I'll put up with her when necessary, and I can tolerate Arn and Jai venting about her and ranting about her, because gods know I've done enough of that myself. But as for me and her, just the two of us... I'm done. I want her out of my life.

Wow

Sun, 27 Jan 2008 06:02:23 GMT

You didn't expect this, did you? An actual update! It's been nearly a year since I posted here. Simply shocking.

My LJ is undergoing a revamp. I have a new Mood Theme (BBC Robin Hood by heka_granger), a new layout (nothing special, just a default layout), new icons... Oh! And a Plus account. Ain't that special? I've also deleted most of my old posts, with the exception of three. Why is this? Because I felt like it. The three posts are friends only, but most of my other posts won't be.

Life has been really... eventful, I suppose you could say. In October I went to California on vacation with my mom and her fiance. I don't really do well on vacations, simply because I'm too attached to the comfort of my own home and I don't like having to get up and be active all day long. We went to Sea World, which was kinda neat, but we didn't get to see the manatees (I got a manatee plushie to make up for that). We also spent some time in Disneyland and Disney Californa Adventure... To be entirely honest, Disneyland was the LEAST entertaining part of my trip. I'm not a big rides person, and I was there with my good buddy deutschtard, but we had some miscommunications issues that ended up with me very upset and having a miserable time through most of the vacation. California Adventure was alright, as we went on Halloween night and the atmosphere was awesomely fun (although Mom and Brad forced me into the ginormous Ferris Wheel and took pictures of my abject horror).

In November I started at an online high school, and my classes went pretty well for a while. I'm taking German, Honors English, Honors Biology, History, and Basic Math (why? I'm lazy). Now, this winter has been a pretty stressful time, and my schoolwork productivity has dropped majorly. In December my mom had a miscarriage, which, as you might imagine, was a nightmare for our whole family. That whole time was very stressful, and on top of that, Brad's dog got VERY sick, so the house was tense and unhappy. Then there was the stress of the holidays, with numerous family parties and socialization (I HATE having to be social). And then there was New Year's Eve, and shortly after was my birthday, on which day I had a MAJOR falling out with an old friend...

On top of all this, I've been fighting with deutschtard a lot, and since I don't have very many friends I talk to frequently, that's a big problem. So it's really just been one thing after another lately, but here I'm hoping things are gonna start looking up.

To save on space, I've posted the rest of my entry under a cut, since it's not as major as everything else. ;)

Now, on to the more entertaining business. Reccommendations and a summary of my fun times!

If anyone likes Alice in Wonderland, I have two rec's for you. The first is a comic by Bri-chan and Rain, two awesome Disney-lovers (Rain is due to have a baby, so many congrats to her!!): curiousinsane. Go have a look, I encourage it. ;) I've also recently finished a great video game known as "American McGee's Alice", which is sort of a twisted, gothic Alice in Wonderland game. Basically, you're playing as Alice, who is locked in an asylum and in order to restore her sanity you must save a warped and twisted Wonderland from the evil Queen of Hearts. It's sort of a Tomb Raider style game, I guess, and I really loved it. (I also enjoyed Tomb Raider II... all two levels I played. >.>)

Another really awesome and addictive game I've been playing is Age of Mythology. It's by the people who did Age of Empires, but the graphics and animation are, from what I've seen testing Age of Empires and Age of Empires II, much better. If you can tolerate strategy/sim games, this is a fun one and I've been quite addicted to it.

For my birthday I bought myself the movie 28 Days Later, which, if you haven't seen it and aren't terribly squeamish, I think you should definitely see. I personally loved it. I've also seen the Tim Burton Sweeney Todd, which is extremely theatrically bloody, and simply a load of fun to watch. I normally don't like musicals much, and this IS a musical, but I thought it was fantastic.

I've been getting REALLY into Greek mythology lately, and in related news, my roleplaying forum (which I made almost a year ago... -__-) has FINALLY been picking up! I'm so thrilled. The link is in my... sidebar links. Obviously. In case any of you out there roleplay. ;)

I haven't been writing fanfiction almost at all lately, but if any of you know my FF.Net account (I don't actually remember it) I posted a new Abarat fic a little while ago. Mostly I've been writing my original fiction, all found on my website, which I may soon be novelizing! How novel.

I have also become a fan of the book "Pirates of Pensacola", by... some author I don't remember the name of. -shame- The main protagonist, Morgan, is a stuffy, wimpy 30-something accountant who is kidnapped by his father Isaac. Isaac claims to be a pirate captain, Morgan thinks he's crazy, and soon learns better. Basically, this is their adventures together in a time of modern piracy, trying to recover a huge treasure and not get killed along the way. It's really a load of fun. From what I understand, this is the author's first published book, and it's really a fantastic read. My only real complaint about the book is that Mr. Author does too many trips to the department of backstory, which can be handy but is awkwardly done and too frequent to really let the book flow. For example, these two assassins spent much of the book tryint to kill Morgan and Isaac, and several chapters in we take a break from the actual storyline (for several pages) to review the history of one of these assassins. Despite this, it's a fantastic read.

And finally, my good buddeh Arn has made me an overnight fan of the BBC remake television series Robin Hood. I am completely in love with Sir Guy. I never actually knew much about Robin Hood, having only seen the Disney movie (-shame-), but I really enjoy the BBC series... Or what I've seen of it so far. When I have money I'm off to buy the first series. Yay!

Ravings of a Roleplayer

I Need Breathing Room

Wow